Ohio

Ok, let’s see…I believe that the last time we wrote a blog entry we were fighting a losing battle against the state of West Virginia and praying for flat land and a change of scenery. Thankfully, West Virginia finally did let us escape into the safe harbor of Ohio but it did not let go with out a fight.

After a refreshing hotel stay in Grafton West Virginia on Wednesday, May 23 we were hoping to be able to bike into Ohio by Friday. However, on Friday we hit a malicious stretch of route 50 abundant with debris that left us with not two, but three flat tires to fix. By the time we were rolling again it was obvious that we would be spending one more night in the state that we have grown to love. Saturday morning we awoke with less than 20 miles standing between us and our forth state in two weeks, however, before we could commence our journey Zach noticed that he had yet another flat tire. This time however, we were out of tubes and out of luck. After failing to patch the punctured tubes, Anthony and Ryan road into Parkersburg, West Virginia’s border town to Ohio, to find a bike shop while Zach planned to walk the last 10 miles into town. Luckily, not only did we find a magnificent bike shop, but Zach also was picked up by a sympathetic fellow cycler with an element and a bike rack, who brought him to Bob’s Bike Shop to meet the other two members. Bob’s bike shop ended up being one of the best stops we made thus far on the trip. The owner/operator of the shop was a man named Kenny and he not only hooked us up with spare tubes and other bike care necessities, but he spent all day tuning our bikes and only charged us for one of them!! We also ran into several bikers who showered us with advice and best wishes. Morale of the story is: if you ever end up in Parkersburg, West Virginia on a bike and need something, Bob’s Bike Shop is the place to go.

After Bob’s we finally crossed into Ohio where a pleasant surprise awaited us. As we were riding into Athens Ohio, Ryan got a phone call from friends of the family saying that they too were in Athens and would like to see us. These friends were Aaron, Becky, Mike, and Fi and they just so happened to be in Athens on a Memorial Day motorcycle ride to Missouri. The greeting that they gave us far surpassed anything that we could have expected. As we took the exit to Athens we were stopped by the four bikers where they proceeded to give us a hero’s escort into the town with one Harley in front of us and the other three following. We felt as though we were part of a Hell’s Angels entourage!! If that wasn’t enough, they put us up in a hotel for the evening and treated us to dinner. It was a great way to end a day that started out with a few flat tires and a 10 mile walk.

The beginning of Ohio was not quite as flat as we hoped but the goodwill that we have been met with throughout this state has more than made up for the hilly ride. Aside from Bob’s bike shop and being treated like kings in Athens, Anthony’s parents met up with us in a small town in the middle of Ohio in what turned out to be an interesting evening that included a meal, a few drinks in the only restaurant in town, and Anthony being hit on by a lady thrice as old as his mom while his mom was sitting next to him. Anthony still has sweet Jolinda’s number but has not built up the courage to call and set up a date. Later, as we were leaving the restaurant at around 11pm we were still without a place to stay until a complete stranger over heard us talking. His name was John Soarde and he led us back to his parent’s place where we were given a nice flat piece of grass to camp on. Even better than the quiet camping spot for the evening was the surprise that we received in the morning. Mr. and Mrs. Soarde invited us in for an eggs, toast, and fruit breakfast. They also opened their home for us to wash up and fill up our waters. After filling up on Soardes hospitality we packed our gear, thanked our generous hosts, said goodbye to Sam (the family dog), and went back on the road with full stomachs.

This puts us in Cincinnati, where a friend of Anthony’s brother Joe was nice enough to offer both his apartment and his car to the team, as we took a much needed day off the road. We finally rolled into his uncle’s place yesterday evening after yet another flat tire. The final stretch of road in Ohio had a few lessons left to teach us. The first of which was our initial choice in equipment, specifically our choices in tires and seats was perhaps a tad premature. Now having spent almost two entire day’s worth of riding time changing and patching tubes we decided it was time to buy some more heavy duty tires for the remainder of the journey. The second lesson was that our choice in seats proved just a little too tough for our virgin butts. We’ll spare you the wearing, stinging, abrasive details, but the amount of chaffing inspired a new choice in seats as well. The following day at a bike shop was concluded with a three gloriously squishy gel seats, and six bad ass new tires that more closely resemble tank treds than their streamlined predecessors. Team LOCO has gotten a serious upgrade.

We will cross the Ohio/Kentucky border in about a half hour and are looking forward to getting back on the road. The tentative schedule for the next week or so is to stay on rt 50 until we hit St Louis. The goal is to knock out two states in less than a week, and from where we sit we have about 350 miles to go until we get to “The Gateway to the West. So if any of you readers feel like paying us a visit, you know where to find us. And with that, we will bid you a brief farewell…

But not before we introduce a new segment to these little misadventures called: Anthony’s Awkward Situation Corner. In this segment we will relate some of the more amusing aspects of a cross country bicycle race that one may not anticipate.

Please take a moment and imagine a quiet, calm nature scene. A river whispers to the trees as it runs along its ancient path. The morning sun shines through the leaves and reflects across quiet ripples of water onto a bed of grass and stone. A small, three man tent is set up just beyond the water’s edge, inside of which sleeps Anthony, one of three cyclers on their way across United States.

He lays on his back, his eyes gently moving back and forth as he enjoys a dream of Jessica Biel telling him how amazing she thinks he and his bicycle trip are. She’s so impressed she’d like to offer up her home to the team. She goes one step further, she invites him out to dinner. Anthony is elated. She comes in closer, and reaches out her arms to give him a hug. Unconsciously a smile spreads across his face. Her hands pass by his head and Anthony’s excitement soars as he passes the boundaries of personal space.

Then, just as her arms lace around the back of his neck… Anthony is wrenched back to consciousness by a heavy thud on his chest. He looks down and is not met by the slender work of female perfection he was enjoying just seconds ago, oh no. His eyes snap open and he is horrified to behold an appendage that more closely resembles the flank of beef than an arm. He follows it north and looks left where not two inches from his face is the very long, round, huge chinned face of Zach snoring with such force that the walls of the tent seem to shake with the taking of breath. And when he exhales the product of his mouth’s entire nights work culminates in the bellow of morning dragons breath as it washes over his face. Anthony can utter but a single, sad, stupefied syllable. “NNNGYAAAA???!~!!”

Take it easy peeps, we’ll update soon. And oh, if you’re bored feel free to check out the “I’m out of west Virginia” video, and the Jolinda three way kiss. J Here are the respective links:

I’m out of west Virginia dance:

http://good-times.webshots.com/video/3022483710101327493VZTAyU

Jolinda 3 way:

http://good-times.webshots.com/video/3063713840101327493HRgkAS

Oh West Virginia, how do we love thee, let us count the ways; one mountain, two mountain, three mountain, four. Add some wind, a windey road, and the legs begin to get sore. The last three days have, by far, been the most physically and mentally taxing of the trip thus far. We can attribute this to one singular factor, and that factor is the wild wonderful state of West Virginia.

It all started with a mountain about 100 miles ago called bear, and that’s exactly what it was. The climb up to 2200 feet gave new meaning to the phrase, “feel the burn” and somehow on the way down the other side the was met with such a forceful head wind that we were actually stopped on the road regardless of the fact that we were going down hill. Minus a few choice pieces of profanity, the general sentiment was, “Are YOU KIDDING ME??”

The following three days included three more mountains, which seriously hindered our progress. As opposed to our normal 60 miles or so a day, we were averaging around 20-30. Thankfully now on the fourth day in WVA, we have put the last of them behind us. Allow us to share with you an excerpt from an email to Nikki Caffery enumerating upon some recent events:

“For the past 3 days we've ridden up four different mountains: Bear, Cooper, Backbone, and Laurel. The tallest of which was about 3200 feet, and when you're starting at sea level with no real conditioning to prepare you for this, that is an epic climb. it turns out Dagen has some kind of superhuman strength in those stupid soccer legs of his. Somehow he manages to consistently ride straight up the mountain without breaks. It is as impressive as it is irritating. The rides down the mountains make it almost worth the climb though. its pretty awesome rocketing down one side of a mountain having just sweated your brains out during a 3 hour climb.

A lot of the little comforts we take for granted have also become coveted treasures among our little group. Things like showers or food for example. We spend the entire morning ride longing for lunch, and days at a time aching for showers. but when we actually do sit down for a meal or step into a crappy little motel rain box, its like the most amazing thing you've ever experienced. Fried chicken or warm water never felt so satisfying as it does after a long day of riding.”

However, West Virginia has not been all bad…there have been some upsides to our journey through this state. Firstly, the pure amusement that we have gotten out of noticing the simple idiosyncrasies of West Virginia has been worth the trouble. For example, most couples who have just tied the knot plan an exotic vacation or at least some time off, but not here in West Virginia. Here they visit the “Honeymooner’s Gun Shop” just off of route 50 where they can purchase enough weaponry to start World War III just before they consummate their marriage. Other indication that we are not in Pittsburgh anymore would be the gas stations. In PA gas stations you may expect to see some candy, beverages, energy drinks, and maybe a medicine isle. In West Virginia the gas stations have all that but they also have dear and bear heads hanging from the walls, guns and ammunition so you can kill your own dear and bears for your walls at home, and yes booze…lots of booze.

West Virginia’s nature scene is also just about as breathtaking as its mountains are tall, and we got our first real experience with this just two nights ago. We had just finished coming down a 3 mile downhill ride off of Cheat mountain (which was invigorating as we found ourselves riding along side of the Cheat River). We found an excellent camping spot right by the river where we set up our tent so we could listen to the rapids as we dozed off. This also made for a great local to take a extremely homo erotic bath in the freezing water…please don’t judge us, we needed to bathe.

Other than that we have realized that Maryland roads are much more flat and better kept than West Virginians and that prices in this state are still stuck in the 1960’s. However, our journey in this state is coming to a close and we should be in Ohio by the beginning of tomorrow or the end of the day. Stay tuned, as the adventures continue.

We will dedicate this rather short entry to the wild wonderful lands of Virginia. It is now day two on the road since we left dc, and the highlights have been Zach slightly vocal sleeping patterns, a blown tire and near death experience for Anthony, a night spent sleeping beside a graveyard, and oh yeah, one more thing. MOUNTAINS.

When we left the Heinswincz estate on Thursday morning after some fond wishes and fruit breakfast, we pressed on via a small highway and made our way back to the ever so familiar Rt 50, on which we began our trip in Ocean City. The ground was flat for about 10 miles before we came upon our first hill. It was small, pleasant, and the ride down was a grateful reward for the efforts put in on the ride up. The tenth hill however, did not warrant the same response. As we continued to go on the hills seemed to get successively taller. The mild warmth in our legs slowly transformed into a deep burn, and the small beads of sweat on our brows quickly started to stream down our cheeks. If you haven’t picked up on it from the description, this was not easy.

Somewhere in between these countless hills, Anthony managed to run into a bit of a problem in the form of a small shard of metal on the side of the road. Now when riding at about 20 mph, the shard, combined with the 40 pounds or so of gear strapped to the rear of the bicycle sends the front tire sailing into the road. Luckily, no cars were around to take advantage of this little mishap.

Upon completion of our first tire patching, we continued along a number of narrow roads cut through the mountains. We passed a few small towns with names like Middlebergh, Uppertown, and enjoyed a bowl of chili and sandwiches at a quant little deli called Danks’s. Even if we were able to eat at another establishment in this blink of a village, we were happy to have chosen it for its tasty food and uncommonly sweet name. Check our webshots soon for an appropriate picture.

A few hours later we were forced to make camp behind a small graveyard. Yes, that’s right, we slept outside of a graveyard. Now we realize that this is how just about every horror movie begins but after trying to ask several home owners if we could sleep on the edge of their property and being turned down (northern Virginians must still be pissed about the outcome of the civil war) a graveyard was our last option. Despite a small bite of fear we made it through the night with out any serious hauntings.

Now Friday morning mother nature decided to roll three elements that we had not seen thus far on the trip into a nice icy snowball and throw it right into our faces. Each of these elements on their own would have been difficult to overcome, however, the three of them acting together proved too much even for Team LOCO. The first element was the cold. The temperature had dropped to below 50 degrees over the night so we decided to buddle up a little more than usual. The second element was some serious mountains. Yesterday we thought we had climbed mountains, but those were simply small hills by comparison. The third and most difficult element to deal with was a steady downpour that continued to increase as we climbed.

After about 25 miles of fighting these three elements we finally succumbed to the pressures of mother nature as we stopped at a Golden Corral for a glorious buffet and then walked next door and checked into a Sleep Inn. The lady at the front desk gave us a discount on the room because she said, “You guys just look so pitiful.” We couldn’t disagree. Our toes and fingers were numb, we were drenched from head to foot, and our faces were drained with fatigue. However, after a nice rewarding sleep in beds and a solid continental breakfast, we are ready for our second attempt at the Appalachian Mountains. Wish us luck, next stop, Wild Wonderful, West Virginia.

from Ocean City to DC, the quest begins

Well everybody, its day 4 of our quest across the states, and we’re posting this first blog via the wireless network provided courtesy of the Casa Del Hincewicz here in Washington DC. So far we’ve braved one ocean, a few bridges, two hitchhiking attempts, off the road camping, days without showers, Dagen’s cooking, and swarms of mosquitoes to make this post possible, so we hope you enjoy it.

Lets back up a bit to day one when we woke up in a cheap ocean city hotel room after a precious few hours sleep since arriving at the Americana hotel following a meeting with Dagen’s uncle Gordy. He and the rest of the Dagen clan cooked us a bounty of hamburgers and hotdogs just before sending us on our way with fond wishes and full bellies. The home cooked mac and cheese along with fresh burgers and cake were a wonderful gift at the time, but now having spent a few days on the road we have come to appreciate their hospitality that much more.

Anyhow, we left the hotel and finally got all our gear put together around noon, when we awkwardly pushed the bikes that have somehow evolved into our homes down to the adjacent beach. A few dramatic photos and a manly goodbye to our friend Damian Sebold (who was generous enough to drive our truck back to the burgh) later, we had officially made it to rt 50 and our quest had begun.

We are humbled to report that like so many things, bike riding cross country is far different in theory than in practice. While each member of this team has done their fair share of training to prepare for this not-so-little adventure of ours, now that we’ve strapped some one hundred or so pounds of gear to the frames of our trek 520’s things have changed somewhat. No more than an hour into the trip we discovered that our legs had developed a burning sensation slightly unfamiliar to the stationary bikes and small training hills of Oakland PA.

The first stop was Salisbury MD, and after a short break we pressed on to our first campsite on the edge of a small lake just outside Cambridge. This was Anthony and Zach’s first experience camping in quite some time, and please allow us to relate some of the more surprising pieces of this charming little experience.

First of all, a 3 man tent fits, well, three men. Unfortunately on this trip we are traveling with about 3.45 men, which makes the sleeping arrangements more, shall we say, interesting. Each member of the team has since become much more comfortable with close quarters male contact. We feel this has some advantages, for example, that uneasiness most of you guys feel when you sit on a couch and some other dude’s leg accidentally rubs up against yours? No longer a problem. Also no longer a problem is a distain for snoring, body odor, 7 AM wakeup calls, and talking in one’s sleep. Adaptation is a beautiful thing… we guess.

The next day we put in a solid sixty miles, and stopped about six clicks from the bay bridge for our second night off the road in the tent. This one was much the same as the first, except it involved an epic battle with a swarm of mosquitoes that, judging from the some 100 collective mosquito bites we seem to have lost. However, the body count on their side was somewhere around seventy five, while we three remain standing and itchy. We’ll leave the final judgments to you.

The next morning we once again packed up our gear, much more efficiently we might add, and started back on our way. In no time we had reached the bay bridge. Now, it was no sooner than we saw this monstrosity of a land connection that we found out that cyclers were not permitted across its threshold. Therefore we were forced to hitchhike our way across.

Now hitchhiking used to be a respectable way to travel when one was down on his or her luck. However, thanks to cheap Hollywood movies and bad campfire horror stories the lure of hitching has been replaced by a ghastly fear of being abducted and tortured. However, due to the size of Zach Hall and the black belts held by Anthony combined with the fact that it was broad daylight we cast our inhibitions aside and stuck out our thumbs. Surprisingly in about 5 minutes we were blessed with not one, but two angels in the form of burly men driving pick up trucks. We loaded our bikes on the two trucks and Doug and Brandon (the drivers) took us across the bridge.

Now once on the other side we were still in no biker territory but we decided to ride until someone with a badge stopped us. It soon became quite clear to us why no bicycles were allowed on this section of route 50 as the shoulder disappeared at the traffic picked up. We later reflected on this moment saying, “If our mothers would have seen us they may have killed us!” Although we escaped harm we did not escape Maryland’s finest and we were soon forced by a police officer to once again lay down bikes and give the highway a hardy thumbs up. This time it took about 10 minutes and it was just one truck but it worked all the same and he took us to the nearest metro station.

Once on the metro we took a one hour ride across the city towards Erica’s house in which we are now staying. Mr. Hincewicz made us a meal we will not soon forget and followed it up with a much needed shower! It is amazing how little luxuries can be appreciated once they are subtracted from your life for several days.

Today was our much needed day off and we spent it in downtown Washington DC. In the morning we went sight seeing and in the afternoon we met ALS patients and advocates at the ALS Association’s Advocacy Day. After a nice relaxing visit to the city we once again returned to the Hincewicz where the “King Like” treatment continued with more food and more showers.

We do believe that this is about all for now. Tomorrow we will be back on the road beginning what we expect to be one of the most difficult parts of the trip...the Appalachian Mountains. We promise to update you on our journey as soon as we are able! Take a look at the pics under the media link and thank you for following along with us.